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He Knows You’re Alone (1980): Crap-st Away

He Knows You’re Alone (Armand Mastroianni, 1980)

[originally posted 19Jul2001]

The main character has a horrified look on the movie poster.

“I can’t BELIEVE you put on a WHITEWALL!”
photo credit:

Mastroianni, who has since become a rather well-known director of TV movies (Virus, The Ring, First Daughter) and series episodes (the remake of “Dark Shadows” and the highly underrated “Friday the 13th: The Series”), made his debut over two decades ago with an absolutely typical B-grade slasher film. This particular piece of mediocrity would have gone the similarly obscure way of such eternal classics as Final Exam and My Bloody Valentine were it not the screen debut of some guy named Tom Hanks, who’s gone on to do a few more movies that got much better critical reviews than this—and for good reason. (It was also the first big-screen role for James Rebhorn, who has since become one of Hollywood’s most-seen and lest-known character actors.) You may feel tempted to watch it just to see Tom Hanks. After you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you. *


Full movie.

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

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