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Self Storage (2013): Access Code, Please

Self Storage (Tom DeNucci, 2013)


Eric Roberts starts an autopsy while Michael Berryman looks on on the movie poster.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta do these things yourself if you want ’em done right.
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I was sitting on the couch today watching movies and writing my review of the execrable pile of dog dung that is Infected, and when I clicked on Tom DeNucci’s name, I saw that he was involved in Self Storage, a movie I had just added to my Netflix queue a few days before. Thus it was that I found myself watching Self Storage a few hours ago. It is not by any means, as awful a film as Infected. Not a great film, by any means, but not a terrible one, either. Though take with as much salt as necessary, given that I’m a sucker for Michael Berryman.

Tom DeNucci ducks pursuers while trying to raise someone on a cell phone in a still from the film.

“I swear, man, I just saw Hannibal Lecter walk by!”
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Plot: Jake (DeNucci) is the night guard at a self-storage facility in the middle of nowhere. He’s just been chewed out by his boss Walter (The Dark Knight‘s Eric Roberts) for slacking off on the job when he gets a call from his old pal Rip (Ben Gracia in his first screen appearance); Rip was on his way to a party, with five friends when the location fell through, and can they drop by that night and get plastered? Jake has resolved to straighten up and fly right until he overhears a conversation between Walt and Trevor (Below Zero‘s Michael Berryman); they are planning to close the facility and let Jake go the next day. Party on? Party on! I’d love to say more about this, but we’d be getting well into spoiler territory; let’s just say the party does not go quite as planned.

Eric Roberts prepares to make mincemeat of a captive in a still from the film.

“Now just relax, this won’t hurt a bit. Okay, maybe a bit.”
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DeNucci started out working with Glenn Ciano, and to be blunt, he hasn’t quite washed the grime off yet; Self Storage is better than Inkubus and is playing in a whole different zip code than the godawful Infected, but it’s still somewhat trite, and you’ll see most of the twists coming long before they get there. Still, there are a few good acting turns here, and the movie is a bit more understated than the poster would have you believe; not something to go out of your way for, but with a little improvement in the writing and the development of his own directorial style, Tom DeNucci could potentially be going places, and you may well be able to say “I watched him when” in a few years. **


“Explicit” (read: red band without actually having been submitted) trailer.

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

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