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The Hotel!! (2002): Checking Out

The Hotel!! (Anukul Jarotok, 2002)

An indistincti figure is walking towards the hotel of the title on the cover of this VCD release of the film.

The second exclamation point should tell you all you need to know.
photo credit: brns.com

When I come across a bad movie—and I’m talking really bad here, the kind of thing you can’t believe anyone greenlighted whilst in any realm that resembles sobriety—there is usually at least one point during the movie where I wonder why I am still spending time watching it. I have turned off very, very few movies over the course of my life without intending to ever go back and finish them, probably less than a dozen all told. I’ve come close on fifty or so others, but in recent memory, I have never come so close so many times as I did while watching the incoherent, shoddy mess that is The Hotel!!.

 

two stills from the film mashed together.

Unfortunately, every screenshot of the movie I can find on the web is a composite, and since I watched it on Netflix Instant, I can’t take screenshots.
photo credit: brns.com

What little plot there is involves Parinya and Pattana (sorry, this is one of those movies where no one bothered to match up the names of the actors with the names of the characters on IMDB—where, for the record, as I write this review its rating is a painful 3.4), who have recently inherited a beachfront hotel after the death of their mother. Who may not actually be dead. Or who may be a ghost haunting the proceedings, along with a number of other ghosts. (One wonders why the two keep on with their renovation plans instead of just selling the silly thing to a developer.) In any case. If you’ve seen a few horror movies, you know how it goes—people show up, people start dying, etc.

Another pair of stills from the film.

More composites from NBMS, who seems to be the only other person on the ‘net brave enough to have sat through the entire thing.
photo credit: nbms.com

 

I’d like to think that somewhere there is a draft of the script for this movie that actually made some semblance of sense, and that the entire problem with the movie rests in the editing room; there are a few performances that might have been decent if they’d been coherent, and there are a few scenes amusing enough to at least raise a chuckle, if not anything better than that. But the frame into which those pieces are shoved is broken, and that’s the most tactful word I can come up with to describe it. This feels more like some sort of horrible failed experiment than a horror film. ½ 

Sorry, folks, I can’t even come up with a trailer on this.

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

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