Vile (Taylor Sheridan, 2011)
You can give Taylor Sheridan, with whom you are probably much more familiar in front of the camera (among other things, he plays Deputy Hale on the hit TV show Sons of Anarchy), one undisputed point about Vile—the title is one of the finest examples I am aware of where truth in advertising is concerned. Vile, Sheridan’s first appearance behind the camera, is a pointless, plotless, ridiculous piece of torture porn that’s supposed to get its originality from, shall we say, the method of delivery (which may be considered a spoiler, but what the hell, we’ll go there). I can’t say for certain it’s been done before, but while I was watching it, and ever since, I had the distinct impression I’d seen it somewhere else. I’ve put off writing this review far too long attempting to come up with it and haven’t, unfortunately, but once I realized I was wasting far too much time trying to figure it out, I ditched the attempt and sat down to write this.
Plot: bunch of young folks locked in house by crazy person (Weekend‘s Maria Olsen, fast becoming one of the most recognizable faces in Z-grade horror). They have to cause each other extreme pain in order to free themselves. Yeah, that’s about it, though there’s an entirely predictable plot twist about 90% of the way through the movie that you’ll never, not in a million nanoseconds, see coming.
Actual reasons you may want to watch this movie:
You’re a fan of one of the cast members (Olsen, Kyle XY‘s April Matson, Shutter‘s Maya Hazen, and The Dark Knight Rises‘ Ian Bohen are the movie’s most recognizable faces; Tool vocalist Maynard James Keenan also turns up in a brief cameo).
You’re on a quest to see every torture porn movie ever made. You, my friend, are a masochist, and I feel for you.
You still believe that Taylor Sheridan can do no wrong.
I can’t help you with the first two, but if you’re watching it for reason #3, be prepared for a major letdown. Everyone else should stay as far, far away from this movie as possible. ½