Monthly Archives: June 2013

7 Gwanggu (Sector 7) (2011): The Ab-miss

7 Gwanggu (Sector 7) (Ji-hun Kim, 2011)

 

photo credit: hancinema.net

Hmm, guess who the final girl is in this movie?

The first stop on this particular train ride actually has very little to do with this movie. It is Joon-ho Bong’s megahit The Host, filmed five years before and, for a while, the highest-grossing film in the history of South Korean cinema. (Wikipedia still lists it as such, though some outlets are reporting that it has been overtaken by Hwan-kyung Lee’s Miracle in Cell No. 7.) Why? Because you can no longer make a monster movie, especially one with a seagoing monster, in Korea and not be compared to The Host any more than you can make a giant-killer-shark movie in America and not have it be compared to Jaws. Just ain’t gonna happen. Which brings me to the question surrounding the making and release of this film that should have, it seems to me, been painfully obvious: if you’re going to take the same basic formula and then strip away everything from it that made The Host such a success, should you expect your movie to bomb?

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Desert Island Disc Day 1H: Africa Addio, East Subdivision

Day 1H: Africa Addio

Day 1H Start

And away we go with another scorcher…

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Virgin Witch (1972): You Stupid Woman!

Virgin Witch (Ray Austin, 1972)

 

photo credit: jumblesalefrenzy.wordpress.com

The Virgin Witch can do it all!…except act, really.

If you hear the name Vicki Michelle and you jump in your seat, you want to see this movie. (Note, after my terrible experience with Bloodsucker Leads the Dance a few weeks back: while Redemption Video got their hands on this, thankfully, that is not the cut you can find on Netflix Instant as I write this.) If you don’t, then you can safely pass it by without a worry, but to fill you in: Michelle played Yvette, one of the perpetually-horny waitresses in the smash Britcom ‘Allo Allo! in the eighties and early nineties. And that, my friends, is absolutely, positively the only reason you would want to watch this otherwise ridiculous waste of celluloid.

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Desert Island Disc Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, South Subdivision

Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, Round One

Day 1G Start

And finally the South subdivision kicks off with…

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Desert Island Disc Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, West Subdivision

Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, Round One

Day 1G Start

In the west subdivision, we have…

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The Cabin in the Woods (2012): This Isn’t Meant to Last, This is for Right Now

The Cabin in the Woods (Drew Goddard, 2011)

 

photo credit: IMDB

I actually considered using the Japanese poster, which I like a lot better, but it’s too much of a spoiler. You can see it at impawards.com.

In 1990, when I first saw Joel Schumacher’s Flatliners—to this day the last Joel Schumacher film I actually enjoyed—I came up with a rule of thumb that has served me well in the intervening two decades and change to explain how the normally-loathsome Julia Roberts didn’t make he hate her character in that movie: every awful actor gets one good role. I have since found ample evidence that this is the case, from Kevin Costner being not ridiculous in A Perfect World to Jesse Eisenberg wowing me in Zombieland to Albert Brooks not making me want to punch him in the face in Taxi Driver. It never occurred to me that this also might be the case for folks behind the camera, but let me be the first to give credit where credit is due: for the first time, I have encountered a project touched by the vile, vile hand of Joss Whedon that officially does not suck big green donkey balls. I KNOW, RIGHT? No one was more surprised than I was. Now, I grant you, some of the Joss Whedon characteristics are still very much in evidence—the movie doesn’t resist the temptation to go too far to get the joke nearly as much as it should, some of its minor characters should have come pre-packaged with red shirts, while others exist solely as plot-point advancements, the story adds needless complexity far too often—but in general, this is actually… fun.

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Desert Island Disc Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, Midwest Subdivision

Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, Round One

Day 1G Start

The Midwest subdivision opens up with…

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Doll Parts (2012): Someday You Will Eat Like I Eat

Wayne Simmons, Doll Parts (Snowbooks, 2012)

 

photo credit: thisishorror.co.uk

I want to be the girl with the most brrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.

Drop Dead Gorgeous remains, to date, my favorite Wayne Simmons novel, a fun, original take on the zombie that made honorable mention on my Best Reads of the Year list in 2010 and finished up pretty much crying out for a sequel. Well, that sequel is here, it’s called Doll Parts, and damned if it isn’t almost as good as the first one. It’s a little more on the traditional-zombie-novel side of things than Drop Dead Gorgeous was—Simmons wasn’t trying to push any envelopes here the way he was in the first book—but he turns about and shows us that he is equally capable of writing the kind of fast-paced survival thriller structure that forms most zombie novels, and doing it just as well.

Plot: when we last left what remained of our ragtag band of survivors in Drop Dead Gorgeous, they were stuck in a town square surrounded by the ravenous—and totally freakin’ hot—undead. As is often the case with cliffhangers along these lines, the first question is how they’re going to get out of this situation. (One of the reasons I am most looking forward to 28 Months Later…, assuming we ever get it, is because Danny Boyle gave his survivors a pretty impossible task in that regard at the end of Weeks.) Suffice to say they do; if they didn’t, this would be a short novel indeed. They get wind of another band of survivors who have set up a well-defended position at the city’s airport, on the outskirts of town, and head there, finding other bands of survivors and battling the undead along the way. But, as you are well aware if you’ve consumed any half-dozen random pieces of zombie media, the undead are far from the only predators roaming any given post-apocalyptic world…

If you liked DDG for its realistic, complex characters who reacted in ways that made sense to situations that didn’t, then you can expect more of the same here, and that is a welcome thing indeed in a genre rife with characters who exist solely to advance plots and make incredibly stupid decisions time after time. And if you enjoy well-written genre survival-horror/survival-thriller novels, you will find a great deal here to love. In fact, I’m trying to come up with someone who likes zombie fiction who would not like this book (it could probably work as a stand-alone, but of course I’m going to tell you to read Drop Dead Gorgeous first because it’s lovely), and I’m coming up empty. You like zombies? You need this. ****

Desert Island Disc Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, East Subdivision

Week seven of the competition begins! And you thought you were getting a break from the carnage? Silly reader.

Day 1G: Colorado Wasteland, Round One

Day 1G Start

We start off with the East subdivision…

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Desert Island Disc Day 1F: Rusted Cleveland, South Subdivision

Day 1F: Rusted Cleveland, Round One

Day 1F Start

And the south subdivision:

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