RSS Feed

Poker Run (2009): Not Another Day in Paradise

Poker Run (Julian Higgins, 2009)

 

photo credit: betterworldbooks.com

Read ’em and weep, the dead man’s hand again…

The first thing I thought while watching Poker Run, a few shots into the movie, was “holy shit! Is that Bertie Higgins?” And indeed, the crooner of such early-eighties hits as “Key Largo” and “Just Another Day in Paradise” is, in fact, one of the male leads in this otherwise completely forgettable attempt at a thriller. (Writer/director Julian Higgins, it turns out, is Bertie’s son.) Unfortunately, none of Bertie Higgins’ songs are in the movie, which would have made it… well, okay, not cooler. “Key Largo” hasn’t been cool since before Julian was born. But more distinctive, surely.

 

photo credit: chud.com

“I told you I wanted SAUSAGE, not pepperoni!”

Plot: Robert (Higgins) and Allen (J. D. Rudometkin, recently of Beast Beneath) are a couple of weekend-warrior lawyers who take their wives out to the desert for a poker run (if you’re unfamiliar with the term, it’s a bike race where each participant is handed a random card at five pre-determined stops along the way—at the end of the race, the person holding the best poker hand wins the money in a side pot to which all the racers contribute). They get involved in an argument with the proprietor of an out-of-the-way bike shop, and while cooling their heels and tempers at a bar next door, they’re approached by a couple of locals who offer them an under-the-table deal for a better bike than they were trying to buy—and in the process attempting to convince them that they can provide more fun over the weekend than any silly poker run can. Here’s a rule of thumb, if you ever find yourself in a movie—any time a couple of hinky-looking guys who never stop staring at your trophy wives are trying to convince you that you will have more fun with them than you would doing what you were planning on doing, they’re lying.

photo credit: suzanneonline.com

Every once in a while I have to throw in a behind-the-scenes shot. It’s in the contract.

 

I might have been willing to give this a pass had Higgins (either one of ’em, really) attempted to do anything new with the torture-porn-lite subgenre of thrillers, but there is nothing here you haven’t seen before. I will give Higgins that at least he’s identifiably pulling from the genre’s classics (The Hills Have Eyes, Last House on the Left, Saw, Turistas…) rather than simply regurgitating things that have become generic clichés over the past decade, but that’ll only get you so far if you’re not a really, really good filmmaker with a distinctive style, and Julian Higgins is not that, at least not yet. Still, he’s young, and if you consider this an apprentice effort, it’s possible to imagine that he’s going to learn from the mistakes here, strike out in his own direction rather than continuing to be derivative, and sometime relatively soon he may come up with something much better than this. * ½ 

 

The distributor trailer (it’s longer).

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

2 responses »

  1. Interesting…but not interesting enough to make me want to watch. 😉

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Parasitic (2012): Tick… Tick… Tick… | Popcorn for Breakfast

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: