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Sex with My Best Friend’s Fateher (????): Porn As a Third (Fourth? Fifth?) Language

photo credit: Oregon State University

Alice Simpson, Sex with My Best Friend’s Fateher [sic] (No press, listed, no date listed)

Had I planned on giving this crap any points, they would have disappeared given the lack of information (no press listed, no date of publication listed) and (assumed) typo in the book title.

The cover of the book shows the lower half of a woman's body wearing panties and a chemise.

I’m sure this is a stock image from the Internet with the title photoshopped over it, somehow.
photo credit: yours truly

“I sat him down in the living room and told him that Annabel would be back shortly as she has only gone around the corner to get some grocery from local shop.” That’s not the silliest sentence in this four-page short, but it’s the silliest that won’t get the review censored. It strikes me that if English is not your first language, and you plan to make money writing “erotica” (read: cheap quickie Kindle porn) for the American market, it would make sense to pay a proofreader who does have English as a first language to go over your manuscript and correct the most egregious errors: the mismatched tenses, the lack of punctuation, the missing articles, etc. “Alice Simpson”, all of whose work has since disappeared from Amazon, obviously did not heed this advice, and the result is a just-short-of-unreadable mess that is only worth checking out for the unintentional humor to be found in the awful writing style. (zero)

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

One response »

  1. Pingback: Worst I Read, 2013 Edition | Popcorn for Breakfast

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