RSS Feed

Kuutamosonaatti (Moonlight Sonata) (1988): I Can’t Even Trust My Eyes

Kuutamosonaatti (Olli Soinio, 1988)

[note: review originally published 24Apr2011]

 

photo credit: klubkrik.ru

Stalkers and fjords.

Finland is not a country that comes to mind when one mulls over the world’s top horror-movie producers. In fact, in the ten minutes of websearching I’ve done since writing that sentence, I can’t find a single horror film from Finland that predates this one. (There seems to be a Finnish horror movement that’s sprung up in the past five years, though.) While I know that’s not nearly enough research to consider this the first Finnish horror film, I’m going to indulge in a bit of tunnel-vision; if it is the first Finnish horror film, then I can still find it as charmingly naïve as I did when I watched it.

 

photo credit: elitisti.net

Does it surprise anyone at all that the only screenshot of Tina Bjorkman I could find on the net is naked?

Plot: bad-girl supermodel Anni Stark (Tiina Bjorkman, the beginning of her short film career; she appeared in just five films between 1988 and 1990, then disappeared), after a minor scandal in Paris, is whisked off to the countryside for a few days to let the furor die down. And when they say “countryside” in Finland, they mean it; blank, snowy landscape, ramshackle hut on the edge of a desolate little town where everyone’s related to everyone else. (Think the Finnish version of the deep Appalachias here in the States.) In this case the related-to-everyone-else family is the Kyyrolas, and the face we get for the Kyyrola family for most of the movie is Arvo (Monkey Business‘ Kari Sorvali, whose passing resemblance to Prophecy-era Viggo Mortensen makes the movie a touch creepier than it by rights should be), a big fan of Stark’s who is maybe just a tad obsessed. She’s not alone the entire time, however; on the final day of her stay, her brother Johannes (The White Dwarf‘s Kim Gunell) turns back up. This is the trigger for Arvo to go completely nuts, at which point Anni and Johannes start figuring out just how provincial the little town really is.

photo credit: myspace

When your landlord looks like Jack Nicholson in the second half of The Shining, it’s time to find a new cabin in the middle of nowhere.

 

While the setup might have you believe this is a Hills Have Eyes/Texas Chainsaw Massacre knockoff (and to be sure there is a bit of that), the movie is billed as a horror comedy, and it’s obvious that neither Soinio nor the cast were taking things too seriously. This is what saves the movie from being a complete crapfest, that you’re laughing with it, not at it. Still, there are movies in that genre that still manage to be brilliant (Return of the Living Dead a classic example), and this one is…not. It’s just kind of silly, and Soinio has very little idea of how to build tension. The few scenes where it does happen it almost seems as if the script stumbles upon it by accident in between Soinio trying to get shots of Tiina Bjorkmann naked. Not that I’m complaining about those, mind you. I just wish there’d been more to it. ** ½

 

Film clip. The woods are CRAAAAAAAAAZY.

About Robert "Goat" Beveridge

Media critic (amateur, semi-pro, and for one brief shining moment in 2000 pro) since 1986. Guy behind noise/powerelectronics band XTerminal (after many small stints in jazz, rock, and metal bands). Known for being tactless but honest.

2 responses »

  1. Since I can google in Finnish I found a list of Finnish horror movies! 😉

    http://www.lovecraftseura.net/index.php/fi/component/kunena/17-elokuvat-ja-pelit/206-suomalaiset-kauhuelokuvat-kautta-aikojen

    You have to scroll down to find the list. Some seem to have imdb and youtube links but the description are unfortunately only in Finnish. I’ll be happy to translate if there’s something that catches your interest!

    Reply
    • He’s using the same screencap as his icon as I put in the review!

      (He missed at least one from 2000, Flaenset, which is just awful awful awful…)

      Thanks! Will definitely be trying to check a bunch of these out. (I actually have Sauna sitting here waiting, I thought it was German…!)

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: