Zombie ’90: Extreme Pestilence (Andreas Schnaas, 1991)
When am I going to learn? This is the third Andreas Schnaas movie I’ve seen, and two of them landed in my bottom 100 movies of all time. (Goblet of Gore is actually lower on the list than this is—this is #44, that is #34.) All three of them are no-budget gorefests with nothing in the way of plot, special effects so laughable these might as well be comedy films, no cast with acting experience, no skill in any technical aspect of the film (including direction), etc. I can’t even offer a plot synopsis; there may have been something resembling a plot at some point during this movie’s production, but it got lost along the way. Besides, it’s irrelevant; it’s obvious Schnaas’ main goal here, as it was in the other two movies of his I’ve seen, was to throw around as many cans of pink paint blood as possible. There are a lot of movies where you can say “this movie is not for everyone”. There are far fewer about which you can say “this movie is not for anyone”. Usually, when I say that, it’s while shaking my head in amazement that a director was insane enough to try something that must have seemed so ridiculous on paper and then actually pulled it off (for example, Peter Jackson’s delirious climax in Dead Alive). In this case, however, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’re going to think this movie sucks unless you have absolutely no standards for technical competence, realism in special effects, acting ability, or any other aspect of filmmaking. But you know what the worst part is? I’ve actually seen forty-three movies that I consider worse than this—including another movie made by Andreas Schnaas five years later. Yes, he actually got worse than this. (zero)
Don’t believe it’s really that awful? See for yourself.