Ellie Saxx, Coaching Missy (No publisher given, no date given)
Points off: no publisher listed, no publication date listed.
Coaching Missy, a twenty-one-page Kindle short, starts off not bad, though Saxx does seem to have some continuity problems (the size of Missy’s breasts is described in a couple of different ways that may not actually be contradictory, but certainly feels that way). The sex is hot, if not at all realistic (this is not necessarily a bad thing in Kindle porn), but all the sudden, whoa:
“She reached up to grab his shaft and plunged half of his dick straight into her mouth. The taste – salty, with a mix of her pussy juices, Stephen’s pre-cum and sweat, and an indescribable hint of her virgin ass – was intoxicating.”
Umm, okay. I’m thinking that depending on your sensitivity to that sort of thing, that’s either going to make you throw up in your mouth a little or send you into fits of hysterics. I can pretty much guarantee that “erotic” is not one of the choices there. (And that’s not taking into consideration the odd stylistic choices and that long-held hallmark of the bad porn writer, the inability to spell the word “come” correctly.) “An indescribable hint of her virgin ass?” I’m still giggling. * ½