Jess Smith, Blonde Wife, Black Stud vol 4: I Came Home from Work Early and Walked in on My Wife Sucking a Massive Black Cock (No publisher listed, 2012)
Had I planned on giving it any points, it would have lost them for lack of information (none at all in the file, very little on the Amazon page).
[note: review originally published 17Jul12]
“Well, having a sexy wife can turn out to be a double edged sword. A sword that can cut you in the guts and leave you agony”
(No, there’s no period in the original, either.)
That’s the level of writing you can expect form this half-finished, erotic-as-a-blood-bank “story” that sounds as if it were written by a horny seventh-grader. (I should know, I used to write paid-by-the-page porn on demand in seventh grade to make extra cash. I take comfort in the fact that I would probably not have made any of the grammatical errors in that passage except the awkward period placement.) The author has a decent idea, and an interesting direction in which to take it, but needs some remedial writing classes in order to correct passages like the above; even getting rid of the two or three most egregious errors there would be a marked improvement, and having someone familiar with grammar proofread this would have been a fantastic idea. But none of that is going to help the fact that the file ends right about when the story is really getting started.