Zombies Ate My Neighbours: The Movie (Brian Yeo, 2005)
(note: review originally published 16April2010)
Up until now with the exception of one wildly popular commercial film (which is otherwise irrelevant to this discussion and thus shall not be named), I have considered Jesus Christ Vampire Hunterto be the worst movie I have ever seen. It is a movie that seems to have been shoddily put together by a bunch of heroin addicts. No, not heroin addicts, people who had just snorted their first belt before picking up cameras and attempting to make a movie. It is the very definition of “inept”, and one of the very few (four or five) movies I have ever turned off with no intention of ever finishing. Yes, it’s that bad.
Zombies Ate My Neighbours: The Movie is worse, and I’m not even a fan of the game. I have been told that it bears no resemblance to said game save the name, but I can’t comment on that, and so will be ignoring that aspect in this review. In other words, if you know the game, you will probably hate this movie even more than I do. You have been warned.
This movie lacks any sort of plot, though it did seem as if the filmmakers (aside from Yeo, the director, I can’t give you any other details, as the movie also lacks an IMDB page as I write this) tried to tack one on at some point. Instead, it is a sketch-comedy movie. Think Amazon Women on the Moon here, but with zombies and a lack of any acting or technical talent whatsoever. The acting is so far beyond awful that no words have been invented for that particular nook of endless blackness. The direction is even more inept than that of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. The effects are also worse (and considering that Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter contains the single most fake fight scene in film history, that’s saying something). The script… I’m not sure there was a script. I think it may have all been improv, except that improv would probably have been better than this mess. There was no attempt whatsoever at continuity save quite possibly the lamest transition ever made: one scene was filmed during the winter, the next during the summer, and one character mentions that a freak heat wave hit, melting all the snow overnight. If you find this funny, you may be the movie’s target audience. Congratulations. It had to be someone. (zero)