This post has been a long time coming. I keep putting it off, and the more I do, the more obvious its necessity.
I have been a media critic, in some form or other, for just over thirty years; I started writing music reviews for my high school paper in autumn 1984. Starting sometime in the mid-nineties, I began to make an effort to review everything I read, watched, and heard. And for a time–a pretty darned long time, considering how much media I consume–I managed it. I dropped reviewing all of the music that entered my collection sometime in the early 2000s and focused on books and film, and things kept going well for a while.
The first major drop in frequency here, back in early April, was my second inpatient trip to the hospital, for two unrelated issues, in three years. They were soemthing of a wake-up call. (Perhaps not enough of one to really make me kill myself, but enough to get me started trying to take better care of my body.) In the ensuing seven months, I have rearranged a number of my priorities, and things that were previously central in my life have been forced to fall by the wayside because of time constraints. My list of unreviewed books and movies, already over a hundred pages long, blossomed. I now have over eight hundred blank headers in the movie section of that document, some of them going back two and a half years.
In short: I’m hanging it up. (Semi-) retiring. After thirty years, I think there’s a gold watch or something.
I have two more (I believe) solicited reviews to finish and publish. I will, of course, publish all the finished reviews that are waiting for publication, and I am planning on finishing up a few I’m in the middle of. And I will throw out a review here and there as time goes on, and the best-of-the-year lists will keep on coming. And I will always be working on think pieces that won’t have anywhere to live other than here, because no one else cares, really. But the idea of getting through all eight hundred plus of those blank movie reviews, plus the uncounted book headers? Simply clearing those out, I think, is going to be a profoundly liberating experience. I’m going to go back to being a fan.
Not that I ever wasn’t. And being a media critic taught me more than actually being in the book business about the ways books are published and what to look for. It put me into contact with hundreds of amazing people I would have never met otherwise. It taught me how to hone the art of seeking out the obscure and overlooked, and that one must sometimes wade through acres of swine, but that those few pearls you uncover are oh so worth it. And that turned me into even more of a fan than I already was, because looking at things with a critical eye, despite the popular conception, makes you appreciate the good stuff even more.
But with the shedding of this role comes the shedding of the pressure to try and find something to say about every single movie I watch. I can think of a dozen movies I’ve watched in the past two weeks for which I could probably write the same review and change the names. They’re not bad movies, but there’s nothing to distinguish them from the rest of the pack. And, finally, I’m saying: why bother?
But I’ll still be out here reading everything I can get my hands on, watching awful movies (along with a few really good ones), and listening to acres of music. Some of it may even be worth commenting on. And this I guarantee: I will never turn down popcorn for breakfast.